Keeping up with the blog

I'd like to keep blogging, and finding things to talk about and say... But I dunno, I always end up thinking "This will take too long for me to gather my thoughts."

Mostly because I don't remember what I was thinking, and end up forgetting it about two minutes after I thought of it.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEISHA! I hope it was great.

the $1 Bid

I'm taking in some Price is Right, and the final Showcase.

This girl bids 28,000 on her "Watercrafts" showcase, and her opponent-guy said "I'm going to take my chances", and subsequently bid $1.

Ouch. Disrespect.

So, turns out his showcase is worth over $33,000, and we all wait with baited breath to find out if 28K girl goes over. "The actual retail price of your showcase is... 20 Thousand..." and some dollars.

You got served, girl.

the Fall Line

I'm listening to some Jack Johnson... "Jack on The Cover". A covered song called Plastic Jesus, into his Fall Line song:

I don't care if it rains or freezes
as long as I've got my plastic Jesus
sitting on the dashboard of my car
it comes in colors pink and pleasant
it glows in the dark cause its iridescent
I'll take it with me whenever I go far
so give me my lady Madonna
dressed in rhinestones and sitting on a
pedestal of abalone shells
driving 90 but I'm not scared
because I've got my Virgin Mary
assuring me that I will never go to hell

And by the way
You know that hope will make you strange
Make you blink, make you blank, make you sink
It will make you afraid of change
And often blame
The box with the view of the world
And the walls that fill the frame
I turn it up but then I turn it off
Because I can't stand when they start to talk
About the hurting and killing
Whose shoes are we filling
The damage and ruin
Man, the things that we're doing
We gotta stop, we gotta turn it all off
We gotta rewind and start it up again

Because we fell across the fall line
Ain't there nothing sacred anymore

Somebody saw him jump
But nobody saw him slip
I guess he lost a lot of hope
And then he lost his grip
Now he's lying in the freeway
In the middle of this mess
Guess we lost another one
Just like the other one
Optimistic hypocrite
That didn't have the nerve to quit
The things that kept him wanting more
Until he finally reached the core

He fell across the fall line
Ain't there nothing sacred anymore

desperation

"I'm sick. I felt this way for some time now. Fed up of the daily grind, I'm trying to find relief. If you feel this way then clap your hands. Ever thought this was a backward land? What is making people mean? A bad scene. Now that I've got my motives straight and I'm thinking clearly, I'll sneak up to your window with my senses open wide" - Belle & Sebastian (Desperation made a fool of me)

Yesterday (Saturday) night, there was a girl wearing a top (what we call anything a female wears on the upper half of their body) that said "STOP BEING DESPERATE".

"What does that mean?" Asked Aaron.
"Anything you want it to mean." She replied.
"What does it mean to you then?"
"Ok! No more questions!" She protested, as she walked away. Our pleas fell on deaf ears, as she removed herself from the imminent logical discussion.

There were no attempts made to grasp at straws, however, as her top seems to imply that she may have played the role of straw often.

Oh, darnit!

Getting to school on time

I never, ever, ever make it to school on time - granted I usually leave home at about the time that class is supposed to begin... Except this morning. This morning I left extra early, at 8:30 for an 8:00 class.

I've got my dancepass mix on my pendrive, and tower on the back seat. Barely enough gas, and I'm ready to waste time at school!

I take my usual back-road route through Claxton Bay, and there's a guy in a Range Rover/Land Rover thing in front of me. As we hit a turn, this delivery truck - a bread truck - stops off to do whatever he has to do. So Mr. Land Rover Man stops his truck, and the truck driver switches the motor off, and hops out of the truck.

Instead of driving, he waves the driver through... even if he was outside of his truck. Senseless.

So, I gets to school, and I'm fumbling with my cell phone (that's near-death, like all my electronics...) and as I drive up to this car to park, I see a guy in a driver's seat, and this head raise from where his lap was.

Oh no!

Sky Blue Sky

Wilco's seventh studio album, and most of you are wondering who in the world Wilco are. Fear not, a stop to your local torrent search engine can answer all those questions in the most musical way.

I just procured a copy for myself, and, despite being eleven days late, I can't wait to give it a good proper listen. I loved their previous albums, particularly Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, A Ghost is Born and Being There... notable mentions are Kicking Television: Live in Chicago, A.M., and Summerteeth (in other words, the rest of their albums).

So far, it's a more mellow album, but not without the Wilco feel... now, just to wait till everyone's asleep, so I can absorb the music most properly.

Long live Wilco!

TV

The Film Company of Trinidad and Tobago are interested in granting some funding to Sauce TV!

Oh my, oh me! How very happy I would be.

I met with them on Monday - A really sophisticated man and woman were on the panel, and were deeply concerned with the quality of the final product. I believe they should be, and I know I am - I do not intend to throw some random junk on the screen - it has to be, feel, sound and look good.

Dexter doesn't believe he's up to the task of video editing, so I'm waiting on Rodney to get the sample videos to me, so I can send it to them. On Monday, I'll do this... and hope for the best.

something I remember her saying.

On Tuesday, I was just sitting in my traditional spot in front of the computer when I remembered a brief exchange I had with Shinaka about two years back.

If I recall correctly, it was after choir and I was giving her a lift to her home, not far from where we were. The exchange was something like this:

Shi: How come you don't have a girlfriend?
Me: Because I haven't found one.
Shi: But you have a car! You can get them easy!

Back then, I thought it was a pretty shallow thing to say, and I wouldn't even consider a girlfriend whose prerequisites included a vehicle at my and, by extension, her disposal.

When I reconsidered it, I thought that it sort of cheapens the value of a boyfriend-girlfriend-type of relationship where the relationship exists more for the material gain than the mental and soulful satisfaction.

So, a few years on, I still think it's a shallow thing to say. A few years on, however, I'm not sure that I'm as surprised that she said it.

Going back to school

Tomorrow morning, May 7th 2007, I go back to UTT on a more permanent-basis. After declining to work for a company this semester, to concentrate on my TV Programme, we're not significantly closer today than we were in January... I blame team failure.

Basically, the failure of the team to care enough.

But, in my time, I've accomplished some things that have made me happy that I didn't go to work.

• I've repeated Math with Fariel Mohan - Clearly one of the best teachers UTT has to offer. I miss her teaching us, and it was probably the last time she'd be teaching us.
• I've learned a bunch about the import system and customs' inefficiencies.
  
• I've spoken to Nicolas more. We've been quite good, and I've always appreciated him, and he's been a permanent fixture on my awesome people list, I guess I do just a little bit more... if that's possible.
  
• I've spent time with Felisha, and I've grown to definitely appreciate her a bunch more, and she's always been on my very-short-list of awesome people.
• I've realized that I can make my own money, competently.
• Niall's a really, really deep person. The drive to Chaguanas after class was good for knowledge and opinion discussions.

But I really don't want to go back to school tomorrow... and I think I really need to become self-employed. I really loved PCS Nitrogen, the people were great... but I think I just need my time, and probably my space.

the way you are feeling

To crowds there assembled, do you ever feel you have gone too far?

Everyone suffers in silence, a burden.
Like the man who does school work and sometimes does acting.
It's full of despair.

Nobody sees it, and nobody knows,
And nobody cares, and boy how it shows.
Except maybe one or two, or three or four or five.
Maybe be glad that they're still alive.

The time keeps on ticking and tocking away,
Wake up in the morn and then squander the day,
Thanks to various iniquities.
B
What did I learn from my time in the solitary cell of my mind?
Nothing new, nothing old, and I'm still bits confused.

Clearly there's something that's clearly amiss
And I don't know what but I'm tired of it,
So how does it stop?

Why do they bother to screw someone else?
Why don't they keep all their crap to themselves?
It's quite a good question...
I'll need more time...
But it's fun to speak in rhyme.

Ice Cream

Tuesday night, I was coming home from dropping Siddiqua's camera off, and chatting with her for a bit. It's a Minolta S404 - The lens is superb, and the camera is really slick. It's a tad large, but the thing is quite hot, considering the cost.

So, on my way home, I remembered I had to get bread. I made the rounds and stopped off at the Quick Shoppe at the gas station nearby. While waiting in line, with the bread in my hand, I noticed a security guard, carrying a two-liter tub of peanut ice cream, waiting to cash his goods.

The silence of the Quick Shoppe made it easier to think, with nobody speaking to anyone, and everyone just doing what they had to do. As the guard got closer to checkout, I thought about why he might be buying it - for his family, perhaps - a gift to the ones he loves. It almost moved me to tears when I thought that he, and many others, are doing their simple jobs, and trying to live, and trying to treat their families once in a while.

Then there are those who, in a fit of madness, run in and take their lives, and break the lives of their families, and friends, and villages...

Then, he asked for a half-pack of Du Maurier ciggies, cashed in, and left.

Why can't we just love one another?

The photo, by the way, is of a vagrant in a suit, outside a bank in Port of Spain.

some things I paid attention to since the last post.

1. It is seemingly impossible for me to study. I can teach myself what I don't know, but once I've learned it once, I won't review it with any seriousness for any examination.
   
   
2. Most people refuse to admit when they've screwed up, even if they know they have, unless they're probably on trial.
   
   
3. Those who we expect more from often fail to deliver and they are ignorant as to why more is expected of them.
   
   
4. KFC is a funny place at the end of the day, when workers are winding down their frustratingly long and monotonous shifts. I, however, would not like to be part of the joke.
   
   
5. nVidia is MUCH better than ATI. ATI, clearly, stinketh.
   
   
6. I love Regina Spektor's music now, in addition to my already present love for Belle & Sebastian, Jack Johnson, Wilco, Badly Drawn Boy, Beck, The Cardigans, and a host of other bands. I do not particularly care for the Arcade Fire, at the moment.
   
   
7. "I'll walk to the station... walk to the station... walk to the station... Won't you follow me now?" is a really lovely, hopeful line.
   
   
8. Being too concerned with everything that people say about you isn't cool. Often you'll make something out of nothing. While that generally is a great feat in itself, it's not great when that something is confusion, chaos and calamity.
   
   
9. Sometimes, when you act like an idiot, there are people who know what to say just to rile you further. I am one of those people, and I don't feel bad about it.
   
   
10. I like abstract art, but I love symmetry more. On the TV, I tend to set the volume to multiples of two, unless it's at 25... the midpoint.
    
    
11. No matter how retarded a person acts, they can be even more retarded.
    
    
12. Blatant, even semi-blatant hypocrites piss me the fox-hound off.
    

Fruit

Have you noticed how pretty fruit looks? Like, a laden orange tree - really nice. And, of course, the bowl of fruit that everyone paints, or takes a picture of. Now, a bowl of fruit on someone's head, particularly if the head is aesthetically synchronised with the bowl of fruit, is a masterpiece.

An orchard, now, that is really nice. I'd like to frolic through an orchard one day.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing", or something to that effect, and, allegedly, "One bad apple ruins the whole bunch".

I think that bad apple only gets to ruin the whole bunch if it's allowed to exert its influence over the other good, happy apples. Unfortunately, whatever made the apple bad can spread, and the poor apples can't defend themselves. So, it's up to the good men to fight for the apples!

Get the bad one out of there, and into rehab, and remove the bad parts, and whatever makes it bad - don't let the apple back into society until you do - and watch over the good ones and keep them safe from harm. They can't save themselves, so we have to.

So, are you a good man and do you do soemthing?

Fort Abercromby

Mayfly, woken up when skies are blue, I don't mind the sight of you, keep me company till she comes again!

And I end the singing.

On Thursday last, Felisha and I spent the better part of the afternoon visiting various areas of Trinidad: The clearly over-rated and under-maintained Military Museum and, by extension, we also visited Chagaramus. Then, serendipitously to Chupara Bay, and then to Fort Abercromby.

After being nearly-crippled by Math assignments the day before, Thursday was very welcome. I hold Felisha in high regard - I think she's a beautiful person and genuinely appreciate her company - so this, added to the fact that the breeze was fantastic at Chagaramus, the view (and sunset) at Chupara was impeccable, and the Pineapple Chow wasn't bad either, I think the day was near perfect, despite the traffic on the highway and the early heat.

Except Fort Abercromby had a canon and a half... never mind the sun had set. Chupara more than made up for the Fort.

2:45

At least that's what the clock on my computer says. Thinking of The Cardigans' 3:45 No Sleep and listening to songs from Regina Spektor's 11:11 album.

The one time I don't know is the time that I'm going to sleep.

people.

I must say, I really do enjoy the company of people who can hold a conversation about somethng that requires any level of thinking.

It's a good thing, I think.

Alternately, there are times when I feel like my brain is trying to escape and run away.

Windows XP

"First, I'd like to inform Philly that the evil computer that thought it could defeat me has fallen victim to me, my trusty screwdriver(s) and the keyboard of justice. Refuse to boot on me?! Take that, over heater!"

Then I got back to the PC and realised that it, once again, didn't boot. Crap. Added to that, I can not find my Memtest disk. It's probably the coolest few kilobytes I burned on an entire 700MB disk. And, for those aware, it was a lightscribe disk. Ugh.

...Got another PC set up on the floor. It's in need of a reinstall, so I do the usual. Pop in the nice CD, instruct it to repair the Windows installation, which is effectively reinstalling Windows, and it begins. It copies the necessary files, and what not, reboots and so forth, lights up the monitor and such, gives me the progress bar and the likes, then begins displaying the virtues of Windows XP. "Stay up to date", it says, "Your computer will be faster and more reliable". Somewhere between the start of this joy, and 10:30 PM, the progress bar and accompanying text informed me that "Setup will complete in approximately: 34 minutes", while it was, allegedly, "Installing Devices".

"Easily move....", "Surfing the Internet...". It's 2:11 AM, and it's still going strong, installing those devices, and finishing in approximately 34 minutes.

Still can't find Memtest, and I have to wake up at 7AM. I have a long day ahead... so long, in fact, that I've had to write down what I have to do. I hope I can chillax in the morning. I do want to enjoy the morning, after the hellacious part of it at least.

my mouse.

It's not right-clicking properly. Oh no. I'd have figured the left click would have died first, considering nearly everything requires a left click... or a double left click, including actions following a right click.

Ah, it'll be completely dead sometime soon. *sniff*

Being queer.

I've noticed that the title of my posts sometimes begin with a capital, and sometimes do not. Sometimes they end in a period, sometimes they don't. That's queer.

What further exemplifies the word 'queer' to me is my interaction with my alleged peers. The things that are considered "important" or "interesting", and, by contrast, those that are considered "shit" by me, are often opposite to what general persons consider so.

Issues, like human interaction and relationships. Most people think that they things that are worth talking about, with regards to relationship and interaction is that he/she is retarded and that he/she should die. Oddly, a simple modification to the conversation could lead to more meaningful discourse. Instead of simply saying that he/she is retarded, why not discuss why?

In a world where the majority would seem more willing to discuss and listen to discussions on the virtues and techniques of farting, as opposed to discussing the reasons behind psychosocial behaviour, I can't help but feel a bit queer.

Where open expression, and truth; logical reasoning and fact are often shelved for unfathomable displays of ignorance; Where more effort would go into creating a fake external appearance, instead of genuine internal worth, I, once again, cannot help but feel a bit queer.

I can imagine a group of people saying "Why are you talking about the meaning of the universe? That's gay!", and moving away to form their own assemblage where they'd sit and talk for hours on end about the new hot pair of shoes that the generic teen idol wore.

It's not that their conversation is less important - recreation is important - but how about a balance? I don't consider a serious conversation one in which people talk about the best soap opera on TV... that's just being queer.

the things they allude to.

Ending my widely unnoticed hiatus with this post, I've got something that I'd like to speak of...

The latest trend in the world of friend sites, like Hi5, Myspace and their variations, seems to involve beds. People are taking photos of themselves in various locations and/or positions as relates to a bed and/or bedding accessories, such as pillows and blankets.

I do wonder if they have any specific reason for doing it? Is it because the thug gangsters think it makes them look soft and cuddly? Do the females go "Awww" and make other assorted noises upon seeing someone with a pillow under their head?

I'm sure most females will only be too happy to see something else to say "awww" about, since they seem to at nearly-everything you can hold and squeeze... like a baby seal, or your generic baby, or a pillow, or a koala, or some guy's wallet. That's the best thing to squeeze I heard, but I'm not sure how many people squeeze it.

But back to where I was.

So, is everyone doing it because everyone else is doing it, or because it's "cute"? Here's what I think. I think they're doing it to allude to their sexuality, desireability, and so on. You know, 'look at me, I'm in bed, and I'm watching you...'

I'm right, really. And who said it was hard to get people into bed?

DISCLAIMER: The author of this post does not encourage nor condone fornication, adultery or use of beds and/or bedding by underaged and/or unmarried persons for sexual purposes.