failures.

We're all failures to some extent. There are so many things we've wanted to do, and tried to do, and it hasn't gone as we had planned, and we've failed.

But we shouldn't get down because of one thing. As people, we tend to hold on to that one tiny bit of bad that we've done, and forget all the tiny bits of good we've done.

While I'm not saying to ignore that we do make mistakes, which is something people need to also realize, that they should swallow their pride and admit when they're wrong, within our own selves, we need to be real, and know what we've done wrong, and what we've done right.

Failures should act as an opportunity for us to learn, pick ourselves up, and make a new beginning.

differences, other than physical.

People are often described as different based on physical attributes, but I just got to thinking, at 3:something AM, about one of the things I would like to call a difference between me, and most other people. In my opinion.

I think the difference between me, and most other people, is when I go to a movie with my friends, and they like it, I think I'm allowed to dislike it, and feel okay for it.

I think the difference between me, and most other people, is when I like a musician, and that musician performs, I try to understand the song, for what it's trying to be, and what it's trying to say - even if it is trying to be a joke.

I think the difference between me, and most other people, is when I like a person, I try to get to know that person to discover why I like them, and what about them I like, instead of trying to simply get closer to cling harder.

I think the difference between me, and most other people, is that what I believe, I believe it because I think it makes sense, not because someone told me it's supposed to make sense.

I think the difference between me, and most other people, is that I think.

Do you think too?

things I know.

When I acted in "Children of Eden" earlier this year, I, ironically, played the role of God, and there was a line that went "there a things a Father knows, a child can not". I feel that line sometimes in my own life, but I do believe there are things that people should know, yet remain free to make their decisions with the information at hand.

Why would you tell me not to eat the fruit, but don't tell me the negative effects of it? Try me, I think I'll be able to understand.

The of all of this is, I do wonder why people with all the information against something will still try themselves, and go do it. Just to try and see if they'll survive, despite compelling evidence to the contrary.

There are the people who are strong enough, and solid enough with themselves, to walk up to a bad person, have their exchange, and remain mostly unchanged.

Then, there are the people who would like to believe that they're strong enough, and solid enough with themselves, to walk up to a bad person, have their exchange, and remain mostly unchanged.

I would hope that the latter's belief in themselves is well placed, because I have seen some people mess up some people so badly that the victims are never close to the same.

Think of what you're doing.
Think of what you know.
Think of what you want.

Think of what you want to be.

going places.

Last weekend, I went to the sister island, Tobago. It was my first time leaving Trinidad, and we would be going over there for work with ACTS as they covered Jesus Rally 2009.

I personally am getting tired of the concerts, because they all tend to have the same cast, who performs basically the same set. It's like we're on the Gospel Music tour and they have omitted so many worthy of the stage, repeatedly.

In Tobago, it was a little bit of relaxation, I was on the beach and just relaxing till the work started, which was just a few hours later. It's a nice place to be though, as there are many nice places to be in Trinidad, but the place would have been a lot more enjoyable if there were close friends with me.

I suppose I didn't enjoy it much because of the work... but I do enjoy working with my great, great friends. I wanted to get home, so I could be closer to my loved ones, not literally home in my house, but around my friends... Home is wherever you are if there's love there too...

inventory and the show.

It's actually very, very tedious. The people who do this every day with thousands of records must not have anything better to do... wow.

I'm at the station now, thinking of the show for this evening. I'm not really in much of a mood for anything today, perhaps I've taken on too many volunteer projects and now I'm feeling exhausted as a result, or I feel progress isn't quick enough and I'm getting demotivated, or I just want some juice.

Either way, I have much to do and not that much time. So, let me stop writing and get to some work!

Good Friday.

So, it's Good Friday... eleven Days ago. The 10th of April, and I remember very little of what I did in the morning.

Somewhere around the afternoon, I went with my neighbour and great friend, Tiana, to teach her a bit of driving an automobile.

I think she's a natural, considering she's driven probably three times in her life - ever. As far as I know, all have been with me as well.

So, after the driving we went up to Chagauanas to see a bike show, with stunt rider Jason Britton, another guy whose name unfortunately slips me, some local stunty people, and assorted jokers.

Got there in time for the scheduled start, but long before the actual start. Tiana got some autographs, and I took some photos, and George did some chatting up of various people. The event started off nicely, the bicycle guy, Superman, was decent, and the Motorcycle display was mighty cool, if not a bit repetitive.

From there, Tiana and I headed up to Queen's Hall to see "Snow White and the Seven Trinis", as recommended by the other Tiana, who I call Chandelier. Unfortunately, it was all sold out! So, we went back to the bike show for the "second half".

The second half happened to be very much like the first, with the addition of a random car driving through to show off it's bling. Tiana went to grab a photo with a motorcycle, and some photographer man invited her to sit on it and *snap snap snap*, now she's a model! If only just for that one evening.

It was a pretty cool day spent with Tiana, and the memories I am grateful for in this journey through life. Thanks to George, of course, for going to cover the event.

On the way out, an RX-7 did some doughnuts... yummy!

being assistance.

So, tonight/tomorning, I'm coming home (It's 1:00 AM local time now, and I'm home about 15 minutes), and about 12:05 on the way home, there's a small pickup parked on the inside of the on-ramp.

I look at them and I notice there's a man, and a woman holding a baby. Now, mind you, I'm tired, and I have a long day ahead of me, so I slowed down, and drove past.

But, I rolled backwards and wound the glass down and asked if I could be of assistance. He apparently overheated, and needed a tow. It wasn't very far, just to the next overpass, so I agreed. It took us all of five minutes to get there, and another ten or so to get the van up the little hill, and push and position it into a nice spot.

I was offered some sum of money, I really didn't want money, but he was insistent. I was, however, more insistent on not accepting. He lowered his offer, and I still refused. I mean, as I said to him, "it's sometimes how I can help, you know?"

Apparently, they were stranded there since 7:00 PM, and nobody offered to help. I was in the company vehicle though, and I do wonder if they would be cool with me doing that, at least in their presence. They shouldn't right?

It was really nice to be able to help someone, and bring a little bit of brightness into their night.

I think my day was pretty okay, come to think of it... maybe I'll get back and talk about Good Friday, April 10th.

getting in order.

I've got quite a lot to do in my life, I think, but it sometimes begins to overwhelm me. I'm sitting here, at ACTS 25, with my 2008 diary, which has become something of a notebook instead of a daily planner, and trying to figure out what I've got to do.

So far, I know I have some comptuer business to deal with, some car business to deal with, some editing/video business to deal with, and some very important teaching business to deal with.

I need to get things in order, so I can more easily get things done... I also need a proper work area in my room. Perhaps if I didn't have a bed, it'd be more conducive to working? Perhaps like an at-home, sleep-in office? Perhaps if I just had me a nice couch, I could not only save space, but still sleep on it, and it'd technically become a bed, wouldn't it?

I'd like to have more shelves, and cupboards, and generally more storage areas in my room. It'd be a much happier place for me to work... a computer'd be wonderful as well. For now though, I just need to sift through my brain repeatedly and get things organised, and start scratching items off my to-do list.

...shooting a video!

Sunday, I was part of a music video shoot. It'll be my first video, for Sons of Zion's "Jump for Life". The day started with a vagrant-man harassing Vicky, and telling us how he ran the streets. I was just trying to make sure he didn't touch me, or harm anyone.

The anyone, at this point, were me, Vicky and my very highly-appreciated friend, Tiana Maria.

I already shot some of it in studio, and it was out on the street for some action shots. We got part of High Street Shut down and that was a pretty cool thing, at least for me.

Unfortunately, the crowd was pretty small, and sometimes tended to look very disinterested, but I think it'll be something stellar. I wanta do two versions if I have the time, and footage.

After, met Fran and played Pool in the Upper Room and it was pretty decent. I teamed up with Tiana in the end, and, unfortunately, luck was not with us so we lost.

my dreams, my life, my love. My friends and the sunshine above.

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love. Got my friends, got the sunshine above.
Why am I making this hard on myself, hen there's so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy?

Well, because my car's down. I do not function without my car... not so much that I don't want to travel, more as it is that I do NOT want to be traveling. Well, I usually go from here to there, take a 10 minutes, go elsewhere, then another 10 minutes, then jump across elsewhere.

Daddy Dearest is supposed to have helped and finished it by Sunday - it's Thursday now. Had it been done Sunday, we'd have identified this new problem, and probably had the car back today. It hurts that every day since Saturday I've been told "tomorrow, for sure, we finishing this... first thing in the morning".

No one, no, not, no one likes to be let down.